Pain

It's what I always wanted, so what am I waiting for? 
I start to cut, and feel the pain.
It sears through my hands
until I drop the scissors
I sit back and the tears form
Shredded fabric and paper
surround me on the floor
Will I ever be able to finish this?
Who knew that dreams...
could be so painful!
Do I have the strength 
to push through the agony?
To make it in a world
where people disbelieve an illness they can't see?
If there were some kind of medicine 
that could ease this pain, but would kill me eventually... I'd take it! 
Now I understand what they mean by "quality of life!" 
I'd rather not have to live my whole life with this pain and frustration.

Letting go

Do I let go, now
Do I let go
of this little fear?
Is it alright that I like you
and just want you to be near?
Used to hold so much away
The only thing I knew
to keep the demons at bay
Now I'm all done, babe
Now I'm all done
feeling this miserable
Why did you help me
to open that door?
Why are you so
So much alike
I don't know what to
do with myself
Done with the run, yeah
Done with the run
and I won't chase anymore
I get too flirty
then I get hurt
Pick myself off the floor
Do I let go now
Do I let go?

The Mystery of The Dirty House

You clean

You vacuum

You wash the walls

The floors

The mirrors

The dirty hall

You mop

You sweat

You wipe the sink

The beds

The laundry

No time to think

And finally, when the job is done

You turn around in shock

You're stunned

The house you worked

so hard to clean

You made it shimmer

You made it gleam

Someone walked

Right through the door

And thoroughly messed up

That nice clean floor

Ate some lunch

then took a shower

Your clean house undone

in less than an hour

All that work

You must start anew

for someone else

to come un-do

The String of A Heart

The sting of a heart string

rings loud and true

Fire burns within my soul

at the mere thought of loving you

Can't we skip the games

that others seem to play

Let go and be free

Free to love our own way

Strip our masks away

and stand eye to eye, soul to soul

Showing every blessing and flaw

Loving true, complete, and whole

April's Tree

A wander through the woods

Finds a giant in the mist

When your soul seeks food

Like first love, first laugh, or first kiss

A mossy covered centurion

Waits amid the ferns

And though it’s not the only one

For it, your heart yearns

You brace yourself against its trunk

You need to feel its strength

I know that could you save it

You’d go to such great lengths

Alas, like all living things

Future, present, and past

Your great tower fell

You see it could not last

Take heart now

For beneath it shows

A new beginning

It’s seedling grows

To start life anew

Dedicated to my Aunt April

http://carolturnerart.com/

This Garden

She does to her garden flee

In all of life’s great moments

Beneath the glorious maple tree

To ponder her thoughts alone

Seeking out in her misery

The garden she calls "Home"

The hyacinth and daisy try

To lift her spirits up

The daffodil and the iris cry

"Don't drink that bitter cup!

But come to us, when you comfort need

Come tell us your great pain

Let your troubles be like a seed

That washes away in the rain"

Thus the garden spoke to her

In her moment of doubt

So she said "Let this garden be

What my life is about."

Dedicated to Great Gran. Arlene Loucille Anderson

Feb 1906- Sept 2007

http://carolturnerart.com/